I was staying in Mainz at the sectorial office. It was time for the Dadas to go for Kapalika meditation. 

Dada Pranakrsnananda asked me if I could drive him to the graveyard and I agreed. I also wanted to do meditation there. 

I think it was my first time to do meditation in a graveyard at night. I was therefore a little bit excited and curious. I had heard that it could be frightening and that sometimes avidya tantrics would do harmful things there. 

So we went there and when we entered the graveyard Dada told me to go and stay at another place. Margiis are not allowed to do sadhana where Kapalikas do their sadhana. I then looked for a nice spot and sat down for meditation. 

Everything was very calm and beautiful. I was a little bit disappointed. It was not scary at all. I thought ‘there is nothing special about this type of meditation’. In fact it even seemed a bit romantic, quite the opposite of what I had imagined. 

Anyway, I enjoyed a nice meditation and when I finished, I went back to the car and waited for Dada. He seemed to take a little longer than me. Suddenly, he appeared in a very excited and serious way and asked me if everything was ok. I said ‘yes’. Then, he quickly said, ‘let’s go!’

So, somehow surprised, I hurried to start the engine and we returned back to the jagrti. I didn’t ask him what had happened, but I could feel some sort of tension in him. But still, I thought this graveyard meditation was a bit ‘nothing special’ for me.

Then, in the night, I experienced a frightening dream. I dreamt that I was somewhere deep in a dark ocean and from above my head creatures like skeletons and other dead bodies descended and tried to attack me with knives and with other weapons. It was a little bit like in a horror movie. 

But I was fighting heroically and defeated each of the demons. None was able to cause any harm to me. Finally, I woke up. I felt like I had just won a grand battle, and I felt victorious and stronger than before. 

So then, I thought ‘wow!! maybe there really is something special to this graveyard meditation after all…’